


Deserving

by orphan_account



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: AFAB Apprentice, Anal Sex, Bondage, Bottom Julian Devorak, Gender-Neutral Apprentice, i wrote this in 3 days after not writing anything for 2 months
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:20:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23149921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: His breath hitches as I draw my fingertips gently up his thigh, checking all the knots about his legs one last time to make sure they’re set. I make extra sure not to get my hands close to anywhere too sensitive, as that would signal the beginning of the actual session itself, and I don’t want to start too early, before we’re both ready. The rope tying itself was part of the session of course, just... Not the really important part.
Relationships: Apprentice/Julian Devorak
Comments: 2
Kudos: 97





	Deserving

The last knot slides softly against Julian’s skin, and I slip a finger beneath it to make sure the rope isn’t too tight. It won’t do for him to lose functionality in his legs, even for a short time. That isn’t the point of this at all. 

His breath hitches as I draw my fingertips gently up his thigh, checking all the knots about his legs one last time to make sure they’re set. I make extra sure not to get my hands close to anywhere too sensitive, as that would signal the beginning of the actual session itself, and I don’t want to start too early, before we’re both ready. The rope tying itself was part of the session of course, just... Not the really important part. So I steer clear, instead opting to run feather-light touches up his sides to his arms in order to check the knots keeping his wrists to the bedpost.

Final checks done, I sit back on my haunches, fidgeting with the harness about my waist. It’s still an odd feeling, the heaviness of it, but definitely not unpleasant. I’m already starting to imagine it as just an extension of my body, just a part of me that I’ll use to make the man I love feel good. 

And I can’t wait to do that.

Julian’s wets his lips and swallows, eyes darting between me, the wall, the bed. He doesn’t seem uncomfortable, just... nervous. Curious. This is the first time we’ve done anything quite like this, so it doesn’t surprise me that there would be a little apprehension about the events to unfold. Just means I get to help him relax even more. He’s always so wound up, so anxious. This might even help him sleep better, and I almost laugh at the thought.

I bring a hand up to his face, cupping his jaw softly, and he leans into the touch immediately eyes fluttering closed and a quiet  _ hmm _ sounding from his throat. He’s truly beautiful, hair soft and brushing against the back of my hand, lashes dark and beautiful against the pale skin of his cheeks. I rub my thumb across the ridge of his cheekbone and he sighs, lips parting just barely. I want to kiss him, so badly, but... I refrain. Not yet.

My hand drifts down to his chin, tilting it up, and his eyes slowly open, meeting mine. He looks calmer now, less nervous, and I count that as a win.

“Eyes open,” I murmur, quiet but with enough command that his reddened eye’s pupil actively dilates as he looks at me. “Look at me until I tell you otherwise, even if I’m not looking back. Understood?”

He nods gently, swallowing again as my hand releases his face, pressing gently to his chest. He relaxes back against the headboard, still keeping eye contact. Good. 

Reaching for the bedside table, I grasp the small jar there, twisting the lid off with ease and dipping my fingers inside. I made this particular mixture myself, and it’s helped a number of times in the bedroom to make things... easier. There’s less friction. I coat all four of my fingers with the substance, making them slick with the lubricant. Perfect. Julian’s eyes are on my face the entire time, and I smile at him warmly as a reward.

My dry hand returns to his face as he blinks owlishly at me. I let one finger stroke very, very gently along the side of his cock, half-hard between his thighs, and it twitches under the ministrations. His eyes flutter but remain stubbornly open, and I reward him with a stronger touch, grasping his length between two fingers and my thumb and gently sliding them up to the head. His breathing stutters, his hips twitching upwards, but with the way his legs are positioned, bent and tied thigh to calf, he can’t move very far. It’s a good look.

I spend a few moments more teasing him with soft touches, but it’s not my main plan, so I lay off with just a tad bit of remorse. He’s fully hard now, a heavy crimson flushing his face and chest as he heaves a shaky breath.

“Julian?” I ask softly, brushing my thumb against his cheek. 

His voice wavers, hoarse and throaty with arousal. “Yes?”

“I love you.”

He opens his mouth to respond, but before he can, my hand dips below his balls, a single finger slipping inside him with ease, and whatever he was going to say turns into a drawn-out groan. His eyes threaten to close again, but he forces them back open to meet my gaze, pupils huge in the dim lamplight. I work the finger slowly, curling and uncurling it, before adding a second, and then a third. At that point it isn’t very hard to get them in, and though I feel his muscles tense every so often, he seems to relax more and more as my fingers move inside him. 

I seek out that spot I know will make him jump, and true to form, Julian gasps when my fingers stroke across it, lips falling open in pleasure. He tries to mumble something, what sounds like my name and ‘please’, but I return to that spot again, stroking over it just enough that he can’t get words out properly. 

He’s shaking now, chest heaving, toes curled as he tries to keep from enjoying it too much. “You remember the rule?” I ask calmly, and he nods his head frantically, a sound not unlike a squeak rising up in his throat when I press my fingers in harder. “No coming unless I say so.”

Julian takes a deep gulping breath, his legs shaking harder. I finally let up, slipping my fingers out of him while keeping my gaze level with his own, hazy and unfocused as it is.

I dip my fingers in the jar of lubricant once again, gathering significantly more to slick up the fake cock between my legs. It’s heavy and smooth beneath my fingers, and I idly flick my gaze between it and the man in front of me, teasing him with the urge to look away. But he’s good. He’s a good boy, and keeps his eyes on me the entire time, lazily scanning my face, drinking in the sight like a man deprived.

I finally lean in, watch his eyes slide shut, and it’s alright this time because my lips brush against his softly, calm, light and barely there. Once, twice, before a full kiss, and my own eyes slide closed as I feel his mouth melt against mine, letting me take the lead in the kiss, as he often does. It’s nice, just to kiss him, with no haste, no alarm, no deadlines. Nothing imminent coming to end it before I get a chance to really enjoy it. My tongue laps gently against his lip and he sighs, and I pull away to let his eyes flutter back open. His lips are pink and full and beautiful-  _ He’s _ beautiful. He’s absolutely gorgeous and I let myself enjoy it, admire him for several long, quiet moments, brushing my fingers gently against his cheek. 

Then my smile widens, turns sly, and his eyes seem to clear enough to where he looks a little wary. I grasp the ropes tied between his thighs and lift them slowly, tilting him so he’s more on his back, his arms stretching to accommodate how he’s lashed to the headboard. It shouldn’t be too uncomfortable, but it is far more exposed, and he peers up at me from between his knees, spread open and revealing everything.

“My love?” I ask, and he responds with a quiet, inquisitory hum. “I have a question for you.”

“Yes?” he mumbles.

“Why am I treating you to this?”

The question throws him for a loop. I’d mentioned it multiple times before we started, but the haze of arousal seems to be keeping him from quite thinking straight. “I don’t- I don’t understand.”

I loom over him, planting my hands on either side of his head but making sure my torso is far enough away as to not touch anything important. “Why am I doing this?”

I can practically see the wheels turning in his mind, catching on each other a few times before turning properly, and I know when he remembers because his gaze darts away from my face. Tsk-ing gently, I tap the side of his face with two fingers and his eyes return, but they refuse to stay, once again returning to nervously darting around. “Uh... You- You said I d- deserved to be treated well,” he mumbles, hands twisting in their restraints.

“That’s right,” I purr in response. “Because you deserve it.” I re-situate myself, shifting higher in order to get a better angle. “Because you deserve this.” Carefully, I begin pressing at his entrance, and his breath stutters as the head of my strap slowly slips inside. Inch by inch I press in, in slow, deliberate thrusts, and his back arches, his arms straining against the rope, his breath catching in bursts. When I finally bottom out inside him, I brush my dry hand through his hair, stroking his face with my thumb. “Good boy...”

A whine escapes his throat, high and needy, and I can practically feel him clenching and tightening around the intrusion. His eyes lid repeatedly, and I can see him fighting to keep them open, to keep looking at me, to continue obeying. It’s cute. 

“I’m going to help you feel really good, baby,” I murmur, reaching out to get just a little more lubricant on my fingers. Straightening up, I start to pull out, very slowly, making sure he’s still watching me as I do, and when I’m just barely still inside him, I press back in, slowly, savoring the way his legs try to spread farther, show me more, silently beg for more.

As I begin to repeat the movement, my hand goes to his cock, light touches making him twitch and gasp. “Please,” he mumbles, the word slurring and morphing into a low moan when I hilt myself inside him again. I smile, grasping his length fully in my palm. The moan becomes a sharp “Ah!” in response, and as my hand begins to move, his panting increases, chest heaving with the force of his gasps of pleasure.

“Do you deserve this?”

Julian’s back arches as my tempo increases, his arms spasming in their restraints. “Yes!”

“Do I love you more than anything else in the world?”

“Y-Yes!” The word is practically sobbed.

“Are you good, and kind, and wonderful, and deserving of love and affection?”

“Yes, yes, yes-!” His voice breaks as I slam my hips against his and then freeze, his cock twitching in my hand, so close to the breaking point. He whimpers quietly at the loss of friction, hips quivering and twitching under me in a vain attempt of finding that feeling again. I smile down at him, leaning in to kiss his fluttering eyelids. 

“I wish you could see how much I care for you,” I whisper against his skin. “I wish you could really see how much you matter.”

A strangled sob is all that he’s able to respond with, his whole body trembling and shaking.

With that, I start again, first with slow thrusts, then picking up speed as my hand resumes jerking him off. He moans rhythmically, in time with the sound of the bed frame hitting the wall, and his pleasure reaches a peak much faster than before, his voice cracking and reverberating off the walls. His eyes fall closed, jump open, focus and unfocus on my face as he futilely tries to follow my instructions.

I’m going to let him come this time, my hand moving quicker on his cock, twisting and squeezing right on the underside of the head where the nerves are, and I can see his muscles tightening, his back arching, his legs spreading the farthest they can go.

I lean forward, not stopping my thrusts for a moment, and softly command, “Come for me, love.”

With a gasp and a high, sobbing cry, he does, throwing his head back against the pillow. His cock jumps, spilling onto his own chest as full-body shivers wrack him once, twice, three times. His breath catches, holds, and finally releases in a gasp as my hand lets up its demanding hold on his cock, and he slumps completely limp against the mattress.

I slowly pull out, his legs twitching as I do, and stand, making sure my own legs don’t give out under me. The strap-on is removed, and I set it carefully on the bedside table, screwing the lid back onto the jar of lubricant beside it. Don’t want any more mess than we can help. Then I settle back onto the bed, rubbing my hands up Julian’s thighs to rouse him.

“Darling?”

He makes a small sound of acknowledgment, shifting his legs a little.

“I’m gonna start to untie you now. If anything hurts, let me know, okay?”

He hums, and I take that as a yes and begin fiddling with the knots. It takes a few minutes to get them undone, and then to unwind the rope from his calves and thighs, but once his legs are released, I admire the lines dug into his skin, winding around his flesh like ribbons. Pretty marks, reminders. I toss the rope to the floor, then very slowly help him stretch his legs out.

I shift up to straddle his lap and begin untying his hands, and as I do he starts to come to his senses again. When I glance down at his face, he’s smiling openly up at me, so full of love and affection and drowsiness that I nearly choke. Stupid man, stupid... beautiful man.

His wrists released, he carefully pulls his arms down, then wraps them around my waist before I can move back. Burying his face in my stomach, he breathes in deeply, sighing with such content that I almost feel bad for how hard I roll my eyes. “Love you so much,” he mumbles, nuzzling into my skin, and I run a hand through his hair in return, my chest blooming in affection as I look down at him. This was for both of us, truly. 

“Okay, okay,” I say, patting his arms to encourage my release. He whines, but complies, letting me wiggle my way down to sit in his lap properly. “You were really good.”

Julian’s smile turns a little embarrassed, and he looks away, pink flushing his face and the tips of his ears. “Only because you took such good care of me.”

I roll my eyes again, taking his face in my hands. “I love you, you silly man.”

When I lean forward to kiss him, he meets me halfway, his lips warm and soft and pliant. He smells like... well, like sex, if I’m honest, but it’s by no means a bad thing. His arms feel warm and comforting around me, his hand stroking up and down my back in slow, rhythmic movements, and I feel so safe. He says that I took care of him, but in reality, he always returns the favor. 

We part eventually, and I get up to grab a damp cloth and clean us both off a bit. Cuddling with cum on your skin isn’t the most pleasant experience. With that done, I crawl in beside him, welcoming his embrace as he pulls me into his chest and buries his face in my hair.

“I love you, so much,” he whispers, and I hold him tighter in reply.

_ I love you, too. _

**Author's Note:**

> i take no criticism


End file.
